Successful Change Starts With A Shift In Perspective

                                 

Like so many in corporate America today, Susan needed more balance in her life-but she did not know how to get it. Faced with a 60-hour work week and a lengthy daily commute, Susan was left with little time for outside interests. Her job was literally draining her of energy, and her attitude at work was changing, especially within her business unit. Who is Susan? Susan is a composite of thousands of executives who are pushed to the brink by trying to juggle demands on the job with demands at home. Susan could be you. At work, Susan was accepting extra work and projects and was not able to say "no" to her boss. She became frustrated and drained. 

By accepting everything and not speaking up for herself, Susan became increasingly frustrated and angry. She became more demanding and less flexible with her own team. Her usual encouragement to "think outside the box" was replaced by a controlling "do as I say" attitude. Micromanagement became her style. As a result, her staff appeared less involved in their work. They began to distance themselves from her. On the social front, Susan was also making unhealthy choices-spending time with friends and family that were draining and burdensome and then keeping silent and angry about it. She did not have anybody to talk with about her experiences and frustration, so there was no one who could help her develop the perspective necessary to propel her toward greater personal fulfillment. 

Like so many other executives, Susan believed that if she increased her hours and worked harder, life at work would get better. Are you just like Susan? Do you think that if you become more demanding and micro-manage your employees, the job will get done? Do you think keeping silent makes the problems go away? To anyone who still believes this way, this is your wake up call. It does not work. Change is the answer-change coupled with a shift in perspective. But sustaining meaningful change is never easy. It takes desire, intention, a clear vision, a good plan . . . and commitment. Change also takes time. In our increasingly busy lives we often get overwhelmed with demands on our time. Complacency sets in, and we lose the ability to overcome inertia-the tendency of a body at rest to stay at rest or of a body in motion along a certain path to stay in motion along that path. 

To change, we must create structure that encourages and supports change, and it begins with an all-important shift in perspective. Instead of living in silence and hiding-or being overly controlling in our work relationships-or feeling that we need to leave our job-we can start by considering a more fulfilling alternative. In Susan's case, she looked at what energized her, what she was good at, and what gave her joy. She put limits on the amount of work she was willing to take on and began speaking up to make sure her needs were heard and met. She shifted from being a controlling team leader to one that encouraged risk-taking and "thinking outside the box." The result? Greater group cohesion and less stress for everyone involved. Group members felt less restricted and more empowered. Susan added greater value to her company and the results were visible and rewarded. 

More opportunities-the kind of opportunities Susan wanted-started coming her way. At the same time, Susan developed criteria for what she wanted in her relationships. She evaluated her current relationships and determined which ones needed to be addressed. She began to speak up to make her needs known, and in some cases she ended unfulfilling relationships. As she revised her standards and set limits, she gained more energy to try new activities outside of work-re-awakening areas of interest that she had long ago left behind. Susan's success story can be your success story, too. And it starts with four simple steps. You must . . . 

1. Be clear about your intentions to make a change;

2. Be willing to experiment and to try new strategies to achieve the changes you want;

3. Be willing to learn what works and what does not, and to make adjustments;

4. Not let fear stop you from making these significant changes.

To successfully change-whether on the personal or professional front-you need perseverance, feedback, and support to help achieve your goals. But change you can . . . and sometimes you must. (c) 2004, by Steven Bacharach Psy.D. All rights in all media reserved. This article may be reprinted so long as it is kept intact with the copyright and by-line.

Steven Bacharach, Psy.D. is a personal coach to executives who are seeking more fulfillment in all areas of their life. To learn more about coaching and arrange a complimentary session, contact Steven Bacharach Psy.D. by email at stevenb@onthemarconsulting.com, by phone at (508) 358-9565, or visit his Web site at www.onthemarconsulting.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2637

How Healing The Past Empowers Your Future

                                         

Everyday I meet people who have a chronic upset that runs their lives, and I notice that they are not even aware of it. Often the pain has become buried in their unconscious; or if they are aware of it, they choose to deny any power to combat it.

Yet unless they seek healing, this energy locked up in their mind is a continual drain on their vitality. It is a parasite to their life-force.

The first step to true self-help is willing to be candid, notice what hurts, and find the therapy that is necessary to remove the psychic burden.

Those who do this will find that their whole life will open up. All the things that seemed impossible before suddenly become possible. They realize that they need not be amongst the walking wounded because help is near at hand. All they have to do is ask for it.

Most people deny or push back the events that hurt them, and when they do this, they choose the path of disempowerment.

They are burdened not by what actually happened, but by how they cling to their story of persecution. If it has been awful enough, they even numb out and blank out the persecution.

Their persecutor has indeed won over them; not only then, but also in the now. Their persecutor's malice not only disempowered them in the past, but continues to weaken them.

Often victims think that revenge is a desirable option and they feel that they might draw some satisfaction if they could strike out and hurt as they have been hurt, but often the persecutor is no longer available, and sometimes may even have died a long time ago.

Child-molestors, spousal abusers, terrorists and criminals rank among those who seek revenge, but because the persecutor is no longer available, they act out their rage on others who had nothing to do with their abuse.

Almost everybody has been tormented at one time or another. Those who are psychologically healthy have taken the effort to seek and find healing.

In your case, the cycle of your unhappiness can only stop when you decide that it is time to get your power back Until you make this decision, you will forever be persecuted, because your wounded psyche will continue to do your tormentors work.

Hell, in fact, is never letting the wound heal, but opening it up afresh when thought of your torment comes to mind. And a deeper hell is not even allowing the pain to reach consciousness but express itself through tormented behavior.

How do you let it go? That is the task of skilled therapy.

All psychological imbalances, whether mild, as in a neurosis, or chronic, as in a full blown psychosis, arise from embracing victimhood.

Unless a time comes when you confront your inner tormentors, no self-help course of study can help you "unleash the giant within."

Knowledge is not enough; emotional catharis is a necessity. Even this article can do nothing for you; it is what you do with it that makes a difference. Do you confront your past, and find a healer? Or do you live with it, and continue along the paths of least promise? We are always choosing, even when we choose not to choose.

Resource Box

Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University, Thousand Oaks, Ca., 15 years ago and now resides in Denver, Colorado. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable life

Copyright 2005 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or newsletter. It's a shareware article.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/13841

Seeing Problems From Their Creative Side

                                     

Did you know that winning actually puts less wear and tear on the body than worrying? And did you know that you could worry yourself sick to the point that you'll end up in a hospital bed? And that, depending on the severity of the problem, when it becomes chronic and acceptable mode of conduct, it could lead to options beyond hospitalization? It could very well lead to imprisonment or interment!

Dr. Charles H. Mayo once said that half the beds in American hospitals are filled by people who worried themselves into them. The human mind seems to be like a calculator. Before you can solve a problem with it, it must be cleared of all previous problems. Worry jams up the mechanism; it short-circuits the whole operation.

It has been proven many times that by a simple change in attitude, in mental outlook, the same amount of time and energy most of us devote to worrying about our problems could be used to solving them.

Creative people look at problems as challenges. They realize that without problems, everything would come to a stop. Problems do to our emotions and psyche what pain does to our body: They keep us moving forward searching for a solution. They are responsible for every forward step we take, collectively and individually.

So, if you want to have a lot more fun and a lot less worry, try the following:

* Put your problems in their true perspective.

* See yourself as a part of the world, and the world as a part of the universe, and the universe as a part of a great and mysterious living picture.

* See problems in their true light: a temporary inconvenience.

Every problem has a solution. You may see not the solution immediately, but a solution is a available. You may not like the available solution, but in time you can change it to whatever suits you best.

Think about these the next time you are faced with a problem:

* No problem is permanent.

* Every problem has a solution.

* There are probably a number of ways to solve your problem.

* The same kind of problem has been solved a million times before some where around the world.

* You have the God-given powers to solve your problem.

Remember: When you maximize your potential, everyone wins. When you don't, we all lose.

© Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in ezines, newsletters, and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required. Mail to: eagibbs@ureach.com.

Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW, Management Consultant and Trainer, conducts seminars, lectures, and writes articles on his theme: "... helping you maximize your potential." He offers management and marketing resources at http://www.maximizingyourpotential.blogspot.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8383

To Reach Goals- Bypass Resistance & Gather Assistance

                                         

To reach goals, consider this illustration: If you see roadblocks up ahead on a journey you take a diversion. No one in their right mind would just drive on and hit the obstacle head on just hoping they get through!

Bypass Resistance

When you set a goal and if you are going to successfully reach goals, you need to write down a list of potential obstacles you may face.

Are there people who won't understand your goal and discourage you?

Do physical limitations or unfavorable circumstances stand in the way?

Then list them, analyze them and develop a strategy.

With a roadblock you can turn off before you get there or go over, under and around.

Do the same with obstacles that may seem to make it impossible for you to reach goals you have set.

Is there any way you can bypass the objects of resistance you are likely to face?

Preparation like this is invaluable.

If and when you reach the obstacle you know what to do.

You have already made up a contingency plan so you can move ahead and reach goals you have set!

Gather Assistance

At the same time, it is important to identify the knowledge you will need to acquire or the people or organizations that could give you essential help to reach goals before you.

Research the subject and educate yourself.

Become knowledgeable on what you are trying to achieve.

Do you personally know people who have accomplished what you are seeking?

Talk to them. Get input.

Ask:

• How did they do it?
• How did they feel once they were able to reach goals they had worked towards?
• Can you link up with other persons in that field?
• What organizations exist with support or information you could use?

The internet is almost a bottomless ocean of knowledge. Through persistence you can find pretty well anything you need to know.

So, to reach goals, bypass resistance and gather assistance.

Including these two elements in your goal setting can make the difference between a failed attempt at the target and a bull's eye!

This goal setting article is a part of Michael's 20 minute goal setting tutorial. For more information on each of the seven steps outlined above, go to:

[http://www.about-goal-setting.com]

To develop a program to reach financial goals click here:

[http://www.about-goal-setting.com/financial-goals.html]

For an exceptional course in personal development, Michael recommends what has been called "The Program Of Presidents" - read about it here:

[http://www.about-goal-setting.com/personal-development.html]

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5079

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "J" Is For Joviality

                                     

                                    

Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of these are an important part of a well-balanced breakfast, er, life. Without humor, there is no hope. Without laughter, no love. And with a heavy heart, we live only a life of sadness and despair. Our ability to laugh at our foibles and laugh with our friends is a key indicator for predicting how readily we'll bounce back from difficulties and how well we'll handle the curveballs that life throws our way, and a quick smile is always the best defense in a situation that's hit a sour note. In addition, medical studies have shown that indeed, laughter is the best medicine.

Not only does it flood our brain with "feel good" hormones and exercise our body's core trunk muscles with spontaneous and deep contractions, but it noticeably and effectively raises our immune system's defenses in ways that are only now being fully explored - an effect which lasts considerably longer than the laughter that triggered it. Laughing lowers your blood pressure and exercises the heart. It relieves stress and helps generate an overall stability of well-being. 

People with notably jovial attitudes are seen as friendlier and better adjusted, and people are drawn to them like flies to honey. Socialization with peers becomes smoother and more enjoyable, and people can't wait to rejoin and reestablish the acquaintance of those with a good sense of humor. Of course, this does not include "humor" that hurts - biting sarcasm, "witty" putdowns, jokes made at the expense of others, mockery and other such imposters. It is doubtful that any of these recreate the same effects as true humor and lightheartedness, and I know for a fact that they attract far fewer friends. Go on, laugh! It's good for you. Learn to bring laughter and joviality into your life and every step of the way will be filled with the warm embrace of good times spent with good friends in good health. Salut!

(c) Soni Pitts

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.

She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3608